Randi (and her camera).

i’ve missed the flow of words coming from my mind.
my thoughts race way too fast for me to jot them down in any form that makes sense.
i dwell on spellings and grammar.
forgetting the beauty of poetry,
none of that shit really matters!

i’ve become more familiar with the instant gratification of photography.
everything i’m trying to communicate with you is available in a second with a simple *click*.
beauty is found in everyday life. 


slightly drunk and listening to experimental rock is fueling my love for this again.
that, and “stumbling upon” a magnetic poetry word site.
el oh el.

ramble ramble ramble.

i just really want to go out and take pictures.

can’t i just be a self employed photographer? ugh.

So I spilled out my guts to look past my regrets
And I sang to the heavens as I bled from my neck
I said thanks for your patience God
and all your wisdom and strength
I said thanks for the suffering as I sang for the dead
They lived for the living God you ignored every word
We’ll all grow old and die as our pleas go unheard
So I walked through the valley and I tried to forget
How I loved every moment of the life that I left
We were all cheated my brothers
We were all lied to my friends
No one can save us from God not even death
So cast off what is mortal and discard all your dreams
They all turn to shit in the end and you wake up in hell
Why fear the unknown the present’s as painful
As being ignored

Vendetta Red “Por Vida”

grow up.

I really don’t care if you read this. It’s been a year since I bitched you out the first time, and nothing’s happened. And I know we haven’t been at best terms, but reading your myspace/twitter/bullshit social networking, I think I know enough.

Ha. I want to laugh in your fucking face.

I hope you know you’re probably breaking your mother’s heart right now with your lack of motivation.

I got myself through high school. Yeah, I didn’t go to college and waited four months before I found a job. But guess what? I’m out of my parents house, paying my own bills, being responsible, and on track to potientally go back to school in the winter/spring.

What the fuck have you done?

You quit high school at 17 and you’re almost 20. You have not gotten your GED, to my knowledge. You haven’t found a real job, baby sitting does not count, you lazy fuck. Sacrifice your scene kid status for six fucking months, take out your piercings and quit dying your hair.

Wanting to learn to do sound…? How about sucking up your pride and working at McDonalds for awhile and helping out your mother. Put your dreams on hold for awhile, because guess what, you’re not just going to stumble upon something and life will be peach-y keen. You have to work for it.

Why were we friends again? You might be fun, but you have no direction in life.

She’s right on one point, hon. You need to start worrying about your own life before you pass judgement on others, especially your best friends’.

Maybe it’s a good thing that Timothy completely re-did my computer. I had to put all of my music back into I-Tunes, which made me search through my external harddrive for the songs I’ve been missing these past years. It’s really made me nostalgic about my high school years… I love the friends I have now, but listening to these songs remind me of my old friends and the good times we had while listening to them. I wish I could re-live those four years, and I wish I didn’t actually take them for granted like I did. Trying to rush through those years, for what? For what? What good am I now, that I wasn’t back then?

Also makes me wish the scene was what it was back then. Where it seriously didn’t matter what you looked like, all the mattered was that the band on stage made you dance, laugh and think. Where you made friends with the kid you picked up in the pit. Dang.

Why are all of posts so far about the music scene? Maybe I need to step back for awhile… Nahhh!

“And our love was a funeral, that you didn’t attend…”

I AM THE LION

Blech. I never know what to write anymore. Only keeping this up for Bella-Baby, since I’m sure she’s the only one that actually read this, as I’m probably the only one that reads her blog. =P

Anyways. So, I don’t have any of my music on my computer, because Timothy took everything off so CS4 could properly work on it. To cure my musical boredom, I’ve been surfing myspace pages. I get into these intense indie/acoustic moods (He Is We, John Skeens, Falling For July, etc) and then all of sudden I’m on Phinehas’ page. Say whaaat? How’d I get there and where’d my soft chill mood go?! I’m now patiently awaiting their return to the Pacific Northwest. They made me believe in the scene again. Good job my California friends, you now have a steady fan-base in Tacoma, WA. But seriously man, when a touring band can get the crowd that riled up, holy fuuuuck. It’s not a good show unless someone gets hurt.

Not to mention they were so goddamn NICE.

ouch.

I really don’t know how things are going to work out. I wish everyone was [were?] still all together. I’m scared. Of competition. Of dirty looks. Of bad things being said. We should all be working together. Why did you quit? Why not help us make it better? Are you scared, too? Of failure? Shit son, we’re Tacoma’s longest running all ages venue, WE WILL NOT BE DEFEATED. Thinking about all the GREAT things we will be doing, helps me cope with this. I wish we could be getting paid for this. Ha.

Listening to Alive Through Love. Makes me miss Blessed By Fallling. =(

Oh, I’ll get into talking about Christian bands later, ‘cause trust me, I have something to say about them. Haha.